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Questions as Illumination

There are echoes, deep sonorous bells that beg to be struck inside of us - leaving us vulnerable. Anything can strike those bells - a question or a kiss, a child or a lyric. For purposes of the blog post my attention observes living with questions - more specifically the question that guided my West Texas travels was "what does it mean to be vulnerable with the land?" 

Javelina's are the cutest, a wild "pig" like animal 

I took in the  mountains and dust, wind and stars, appreciating those rhythms that move so differently from beats that guide those routines in city life. And of course not to romanticize it, I mused at those pleasures of modern living in which I can move through its desert contours physically unscathed - though I did buy some sunglasses at a local gas station to protect my eyes:). 

Marfa, Texas. Sitting at one of  Donald Judd's  famous blocks - 15 cement blocks  laid across the landscape. A  javelina  - trotted through the landscape, it was such a vision! 

Marfa, Texas. Sitting at one of Donald Judd's famous blocks - 15 cement blocks  laid across the landscape. A javelina - trotted through the landscape, it was such a vision! 

I had an encounter with a javelina! They are the cutest, a wild "pig" like animal, its totem symbology is connected to loyalty to the herd, abilities to defend itself, and recognition of friends. Recognizing friends I am! Thank you javelina! 


What does it mean to be vulnerable with the land?

This question started to emerge when I lived in a farm and meditation center in Georgetown, Texas a few years ago. And grew as I took on a role as a council member at Alma de Mujer Center for Social Change.  It begged no immediate answer but several lived experiences. One of which was this visit to West Texas towns Alpine and Marfa in which I was intentional in my receptivity of inner and outer guidance. 

 I was listening, watching the edges of my inner experience interact with the edges of this outer experience, this landscape, this land. I observed the sun touch my skin. I watched the landscape in Alpine, Texas become frosted.  I wandered. The long vistas in the desert reflected the vistas of my inner life. 



I can only speak to what arose for me in this trip in context of highlighting the importance of the process. There is a richness and complexity yet simplicity that arises from sensing the texture of a question and interacting with it through my senses. 

The definition of vulnerability (vulnerable), according to Merriam Webster is as follows

Definition of vulnerable

1: capable of being physically or emotionally wounded

My attraction here is the emotional wound.  Vulnerability creates states of insecurity. What I'm curious about is the susceptibility, the helplessness and the letting go of control that vulnerability evokes. What is that wound we feel? Who are we afraid of? What are those thick shields? How do we become our own salves? I asked from the perspective of individual and collective experience. 

At McDonald Observatory in Fort Davis  I saw a crater on the moon through a telescope, I saw the Pleiades, and forgive me, I forgot the details, star dust related to a Pegasus:). On this trip each moment eternally collapsing into each other - part of the lived experience of ancientism and futurism - a term I'm investigating further as an ethos guiding my actions and work. 

By valuing the landscape and resisting the tourist desire to consume an environment I honored "being" with the environment.  I was able hear, feel, and experience questions that are part of my path, my purpose, my form of love. 

There is a beauty in the luminosity of peripheral knowledge asking for your attention.  So often couched in silence yet storming within a myriad of emotions - from restlessness and joy to enthusiasm and sadness. That peripheral knowledge? Its that edge of evolution. Growth is cultivated by lived inquiry. 

Who are we? What do we want? Where is the evolution of the human species going? What is time? 

The land's wisdom helped me change (and continues to) as we are not separate and if intentional about it - are in continuous dialogue. I touched the edges of knowing and evolved my sense of self through practicing deep listening and following through with my curiosities, uninhibited. To me evolve means coming into greater Love. It is a pursuit we must do as a species. 

The Question as the Illumination

The imagery of the bell is helpful for me, as I sit in silence, seeing the individual and collective bells that are striking our hearts or are asking to be struck. 

I've come to terms that this question, "what does it mean to be vulnerable with the land" as one of many inquiries for me to ride its crest into shorelines awaiting my arrival.  And only to recede again, cyclical again and again over my lifetime.  

I hope that for you, your questions become your guides. 


Chronicling the process of emergence through a year's cycle

I'm having fun with possibilities available through interfacing with a website. Below is a post shared on Facebook speaking to the transitions of how I will share in 2018.

Beginning of Post:

A personal post for all my loved ones!!



<3 I can't believe this picture was taken 4 years ago!!! So much changes and so much stays the same. <3 <3 <3 Every year, at the turning to another year I've always wanted something general - releasing something old and inviting something new. This time though, as I look at 2017, I see pretty clearly what 2018 is for me. Its time for me to move from the shadows and periphery and to share words that weave together experiences of years spent between solitude and socializing + new adventures and explorations that tug at my soul this very moment. Chrysalis News. (read at the end for more info). 

My close friends that follow my unfoldments know of my connection with butterflies. When speaking of the change we want to see around the globe down to what we see outside our front doors and inside our homes, I think what we really mean is transformation. Change is exciting and gets people rallied- for a moment. But transformation is the real stuff -it is science, it is art, requires skill, rigor, discernment and yeah, play. Transformation means you follow through with that one change, and then the other, and the other, many many moments continuously kicking your butt evolving your awareness of self and others. Me, I don't see any way around it. We need transformation - in a societal scale - in a global scale. So I work on myself in ways that are unique to me. And I *try* to be real with what I can do and what I cannot. I've had to develop a relationship with Transformation. The tenacity and trust of a caterpillar, the mystery of the chrysalis, the glamour of the wings. 

Butterfly. Mariposa. 

Over the past few years I've been involved in a graduate program that is pretty incredible with meeting you where you're at (I'm finally at thesis stage!). A couple of things have emerged that I want to share: 

First, is the development of an idea informed by many deeply personal experiences - "ancientism and futurism" - a philiosophy, an art, a science, a "spiritual" way of being that takes into account the processes set in motion by our ancestors and the wisdom that is available to us right now guiding us individually and collectively towards possible futures - ideally futures in which there is sovereignty for all peoples. 

This informs a course I've designed, "Your Originality is your Sovereignty" its part of my pushback of people telling you what to do/ believe + modeled by the way these professors have held space for my watery, ambiguous wisdom to emerge. I want to do this for you. This is part of my thesis work, as I see studying and articulating how we navigate liminal spaces - individually and as community is essential toward imagining these possible new futures. More info at - This course is a prototype example of the third endeavor:

The Dragon Institute is in the process of becoming a formal 501c3 -(the board is tagged). The purpose of this institute is to cultivate emergent and established leaders into deeper wisdom and synergize with a network of communities through learning programs and curated experiences. I see it as a game changer, an organization with actions steps that consider generations into the future. Here, I follow the dragon totem, and y'all the wings here are different;). 

Chrysalis News

In efforts of transparency and sharing, I'll be chronicling these explorations, discoveries, musings, and collaborations through my blog at and a newsletter. They showcase the work named above but also my journey as a "creature" in love with the patterned anomalies of my life. 

PM your email so that I may include you in the newsletter in which I'm happily calling Chrysalis News - sent out about every 7 weeks:). :D

I hope everyone's new years is sprinkled with sparkles and thank you to every single one of you who have personally helped in the fruition of this stage of work - by sharing yourself I've been able to access Myself - and especially to the ladies at Mariposa house who's flavor of magic have assisted me so much  Angel Marie RussellTricia StorieJennifer Genevieve MonroigAllyssa MilánStephanie Rodriguez.  <3 :* xoxoxo

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